"They're So Different!"

Fairly often, we'll be out somewhere with the girls and watching them play, and someone (family, friend, or stranger) will shake their head and say, "Wow...they're so different."  And Bear or I will always reply, "Yeah...they so are."

In this corner, there's Keira, who seems to have been stressed out since birth.  She was a colicky baby, has always been very attached to people and mementos (stuffed animals, gifts, trinkets), cries easily, does more than her fair share of wondering and worrying for such a young girl, and has a really tough time with changes or trying new things.  Every time she tries something new--whistling, jumping rope, going across the tall monkey bars--there's drama involved.  She tries once, fails, and cries. She wants to try again but she doesn't.  She's nervous or scared or frustrated but doesn't want to give up, but doesn't want to do it anymore, either.  There's much convincing and cajoling and coaching from us, and usually a speech from me that involves some version of "Either try with a good attitude, or do it another time, but don't sit around pouting and crying about it."  She finally finds her resolve, practices a whole bunch all by herself, is finally successful, and is totally thrilled and proud.  And then we go, "See?  You did it!  There was no reason to get so upset!"  It's a lengthy process, and is probably the main reason we haven't even attempted teaching her to ride her bike without training wheels yet.  The thought of it kind of tires me out, even though her triumph in the end of these ordeals is so adorable.

And then there's Ellie.  Ellie's like, "Whatever."  She's pretty much just along for the ride.  She doesn't care what our plans are for the day: she's happy to see whoever's around, and she finds something fun to do wherever we are.  If there's a new thing she wants to try, she does; if she doesn't want to, she doesn't, and she's fine with her choice either way.  Even though she hated getting her face wet and had never gone underwater before, when the coach asked her on the first day of swim class if she could hold her breath and go underwater for him, she just...did it.  (I almost had a heart attack, not even knowing if she knew what "hold your breath" means, while she sank below the surface and sat there for a good 5 seconds before she came up sputtering.)  Later, she explained matter-of-factly, "The teacher told me to put my face in da water.  So I put my face in da water." Allrighty, then.  She's afraid of the dark, and freaks out if anyone leaves without letting her wave to them from Keira's window as they drive away...but besides that, she doesn't stress about much.  I don't think she's even capable of worry, which may be developmental for her age or may just be her personality.  When she gets a little older, we'll probably start seeing more specific personality traits show up, but so far, we can say she is definitely unKeira-like in a lot of ways.

Case in point: after they finished swim lessons a couple of weeks ago, I ordered them each a swimmy/floatation type of device that I hoped would help them actually learn to swim (or at least to venture beyond the steps of the pool) when we go to friends' houses and what-not.  Being unable to purchase anything online without reading a bazillion reviews and making endless comparisons, I spent a good two hours on Amazon before I decided on this one for Ellie...

and this for Kiwi:













I figured Ellie is still a tiny thing, and probably isn't ready to swim independently yet, so hers is designed to hold her above water and let her float or paddle around without much effort.  Keira's, on the other hand, has 4 removable pads that are supposed to get her gradually more used to keeping herself afloat, until she doesn't need the last one anymore and can swim on her own. 

Okay, good.  So, they come in the mail, the girls are stoked, and on Monday we head over to Aunt Lisa's house to swim with cousin Brandon and try them out.  Like a fool, I didn't bring my camera along, but here is a summary of what happened when we got in the pool:

Ellie
*takes off as soon as I buckle the floaties onto her*

"I'm doing it!  Woohoo!  Okay, move away, Mommy!  ....Shoo, Mommy!  I can do it!  Look, I'm turning around!  I'm going in the deep end!  Lookit me!" 

She grins, she giggles, and she even spits out water that splashes in her face and keeps right on paddling all over the pool.

The end.

Keira
*teeth literally chattering with fear*

"I don't want to go in any further!"

Me:  "Keira, you're only on the second step.  You can stand up on the bottom of the pool right here.  Come on in!"

"Okay...but I want you to hold onto me.  *panicky voice* Don't let me go.  Don't let me go!  Hold onto me, Mama!" 

Repeat for 45 minutes.

Now, granted, Keira' swimmy device turned out to be one that requires a lot of paddling and effort in order to keep her head above water; if you just lay there and expect to float, it flips you face-first into the water like a tortoise with a foamy shell on your back.  After I put it on myself and figure that out, we start what turns out to be about a slow process of teaching Kiwi how to use it...and, more importantly, convincing her that I had not given birth to her, raised her for 5 1/2 years, and then brought her to her cousin's pool just to drown her for funsies.  (Seriously, kiddo...where's the trust?  When's the last time I asked you to try something that turned out badly?  I introduced you to York peppermint patties, for cryin' out loud.)

Anyway, then it becomes this duet of Opposite Sisters, with Keira shrieking, "Get closer, Mommy!  Don't let go of me!" and Ellie paddling by, calling, "Lookit me, Mommy!  I don't need any help!"  And Keira pleads, "Hold onto me, Mommy!" while Ellie swims past and yells, "Shoo, Mommy!  I'm doing it myself! Woohoo!!"  And the entire time, I'm thinking

a)  Thank goodness Auntie Lisa is here to trade off with me between the girls, or I would've thrown in the towel--get it? beach towel? har har--about five minutes in,

b)  The other moms at this pool must either think I'm torturing Keira or babying her too much...I'm not sure which, and

c)  Wow, these girls are so different.

The best part, and the part that made me totally kick myself for not having my camera along--not that I would've been able to record the moment, anyway--was when Keira finally let me back up a few feet away from the steps, got into the water herself, and doggy paddled to me.  All of her fear and stress just melted away, and she let out this maniacal, triumphant laugh and put her fist in the air as I picked her up, and we yelled and woohoo'ed and celebrated like a couple of total freaks.  It was glorious.  From then on, she got braver and braver, until pretty soon she was swimming across the width of the pool all by herself, and not even minding the water that splashed in her face along the way!

Both girls--our little Drama Queen and our Whatever Kid--had an absolute blast overall and can't wait to get back into a pool again ASAP.  And next time, I'm bringing my camera!