Car Ronaldo

I've mentioned before that my '97 Saturn, Jodie, has been rather temperamental lately, and that I spent an entire month jump-starting it everywhere I went until we figured out--allegedly--what was wrong by replacing about 47 parts, one at a time. I've never in my life owned a brand-new car, and fully believe in driving vehicles into the ground whenever possible, but today, the poo hit the fan.

Top Three Signs You Need a New Car TODAY:

1) You go to leave for work in the morning, turn the key and found that, once again, your (brand new) battery is completely dead.

2) You yank on the emergency brake so you can get out and do Ye Olde Jump Start, and the button on the end of it pops off, shooting the spring across the car and rendering the emergency brake useless. Because you are parked on a steep driveway, your car now wants to inch backward even when it's in gear and the clutch is released; therefore, you are trapped inside the vehicle with your foot on the brake.

This would be the part where I called my dad, who lives 6 hours away but, unlike Bear, was already awake at just before 7am. Laughing, I explained my predicament and he advised me to let the car roll down into the street where it's more level, put it in gear, and then jump start it there. Okay. Having done that, however, I then found myself sitting inside a RUNNING vehicle, with a battery charger sitting on top of the engine and the hood up, unable to take my foot off the brake. Can't leave a stick shift in gear and let out the clutch...have no emergency brake...car will roll away in neutral...doh. This was kind of hilarious, actually. I sat there, giggling to myself for a minute and debating my options.

I texted my teaching partner the following message: "Having monumental but kind of funny car problem. Might be late." Rereading the message, I found that I'd actually typed (thank you, auto text!), "Having monumental but kind of funny car ronaldo." More giggles. Almost hysterical now.

In the end, I called the house and woke up Bear. "Hey, Sweetie? Um, I'm trapped in my car with the hood up and the battery charger hooked up. Can you come take it off for me? I'm in the street." More giggles...from me. Not so much from sleepy Bear, who, as he said later, might as well have been dragging a blankie behind him and toting a teddy bear under his arm. Anyway, off to work I went.

After work, I met Bear and the girls at my grandparents' house, fed Ellie, and then went to leave to visit the friendly neighborhood car dealership and trade in Jodie for a vehicle that was not, in fact, possessed by the devil and/or terminally ill. We reached my car to find that...

3) The front tire is completely flat for no apparent reason. Oh, except for the giant gaping hole in the side of it.

For reals?? A dead battery, a broken emergency brake, and a flat tire all in one day?! L....O....L.

So, to make a long story--well, shortER--we did not trade Jodie in, because we were not completely sure they would accept a vehicle that had to be pushed onto the lot (and then potentially would not stop moving...). We did, however, test drive a Honda CRV and a Honda Accord, resist checking out the too-expensive-for-now Odyssey (sniff, sniff), and purchase the Accord.

We named it Ronaldo.

Pics of the pathetic heap known as Jodie, and the shiny silverware (as Keira calls the color silver) Ronaldo, coming soon!