Bed Bug

In addition to Keira's need for bedtime heart-to-hearts with Mommy lately, Elliana has decided that she, too, is all about Mama these days. If I had the talent and resources of "The Daily Show" staff, I'd put together a montage of her saying "Mama?!" upwards of ten thousand billion times a day (and night): when she sees me, when she doesn't see me, when she falls, when I put her down, when she's tired, the instant she wakes up from a nap, during the night, or in the morning...you get the idea. Basically, if I had a nickel for every time she uttered the word "Mama," I could pay her to cut her usage by half and save my sanity. What's the standard age for accepting bribes, anyway?

It's totally adorable and I'm truly flattered by the love and attention, but bedtime has become an hour-long ritual between these two girls, and I'm about ready for bed myself by the time they're both sufficiently snuggled, soothed, and sleepy. Experience tells me, however, that Bear will get his turn as Flavor of the Month before too long, so I'll savor it while I can.

In the meantime, Elliana is putting on a clinic, as Chick Hearn would have said, on how to prolong bedtime as long as humanly possible. I wish I had a night vision video camera to capture her antics as I sit in her dark bedroom with her every night.

Her patented method (babies and toddlers, listen and learn!):

1) Give lots of open-mouthed baby kisses. Moms love those.

2) Point to and name everything you can see in the room: "Nightlight?...Mama's nose?...Mama's eye?" (OW!). While you're at it, name everything else you can think of, too: "Moon? Bird? Fly-fly? Tweet tweet? Ball? Book? Da-da? Bah-bye!" I have a 40-50 word vocabulary, Mom! Haven't I earned the right to stay awake?!

3) Turn up the cute full-blast. Pet her face and sigh, "Maaa-maaaa." Lay your head back and say, "Wheeeee!" over and over again. Blow raspberries, play with your lips, and randomly ask for high-fives ("Bam?").

4) Use Mom as an iPod and request as many songs as possible: "Hu-WAH?" ("The Ants Go Marching") "E-I-E-I?" ("Old McDonald Had a Farm") "Wuh-Wuh?" (The theme song from Keira's favorite show, "Word World")

5) Avoid the crib at all costs. If Mom budges even ONE of her Putting You Down in the Crib muscles, begin asking, "Mama? Mama?" in increasingly desperate tones and hang on tight. If she threatens, "Ellie-Bug, lay your head down or Mommy has to put you in the cribby," lay your head down obediently for a maximum of 30 seconds; then start over with Step 1.

So many parents talk about the "bedtime battle" and describe tears, frustration, tantrums, and a general state of misery, that I'm definitely grateful to have two little girls who just want to squeeze in as much cuteness and love as possible before they get their beauty sleep!