Dude, Where's My Shoe?

Dear Target,

Consider this your 3-day notice to find and return the little pink sandal we lost there last weekend. Your Lost and Found person called and said you had it, but we have been met with blank stares and "Nope, don't have it"s upon coming to claim it. Since this same shoe was lost, found, and mailed to us courtesy of the San Diego Zoo only a week prior, and is less than a month old, we cannot accept your apologies, and will not rest until it has been rescued from your evil clutches.

If you are unwilling to cooperate, my husband has stated he will have no choice but to take you, one by one, into the lamps section and shine bright lights into your faces until someone confesses to taking it as a rear-view mirror ornament (or whatever use one might find for one little pink sandal). Because we are parents, we must warn you that coersion and torture are our specialty, and that we do have approximately 187 verses of "The Wheels on the Bus" to inflict upon you if need be. Don't make us start exploring the hardware section, either. If you know what's good for you, you will repent now.

Sincerely,
Mama Bear

PS: Our Cub is a force to be reckoned with, too. Witness what she did to Cousin Brandon just a few days ago. Do you want to be next on her list?