Keira v. 3.0 Debuts; Debugging Process Begins

It's been less than two months since our little Kiwi-fruit hit the three-year mark, and like any product update, Keira 3.0 several new features...and a few issues that'll be needing some tweaking.

First, to the perks:

• Increased independence: Although the shyness of Keira 2.0 peeks through on occasion, Keira 3.0 has come a long way. She's confident venturing into fast-food GermFests--er, PlayLands--sans parents, gets dressed almost completely by herself, and has taken over complete responsibility for feeding Catey-Pup. Pouring herself a bowl of Chocolate-Frosted Sugar Bombs and turning on the TV so Mom and Dad can sleep in can't be too far behind, can it?
• Enhanced communication: Gone is the guesswork of figuring out what she wants or why she's upset; Keira 3.0 is a master of communication. A recent quote, after Bear's car wouldn't start and I started getting annoyed by her constant yammering--I mean, communicating--from the back seat: "Mommy, you're using that cranky voice. That makes me feel upset." An often-heard statement in our house these days: "I'm just feeling sad because I wanted to watch a Dora but you said no." Perhaps the Dora fixation can be deleted before Keira 4.0 debuts in fall 2010...
• Social networking capabilities: So long, parallel play! Keira 3.0 is able to approach other kids with confidence (sometimes) and invite them to play with her. She holds conversations with her little friends and gives liberal amounts of hugs and kisses. It's amazing, really. When she first learned to talk, she acquired new words one at a time as we taught them to her; now, we honestly have no idea what's going to come out of her mouth next, or where it came from. For instance: "Dad, my butt is very mysterious." Oooohkay.

The Bugs:

• Inaccurate data reporting: In other words, somebody's pants are on fire. Sometime in the past few weeks, Keira 3.0 has learned the fine art of dishonesty...and, because she is only three, her attempts at being sneaky are completely transparent and unsuccessful. She rats herself out by, for example, announcing, "Mommy, I'm NOT making a mess!" while painting makeup onto the bathroom cabinets with my eyeshadow brush, and seems to believe we don't notice she's hiding some forbidden object behind her back even after watching her put it there. Last night, I turned off the string of butterfly lights in her bedroom because she broke the "No getting out of bed to wander the house" stipulation...and when I went to check on her an hour or so later, I found her sound asleep, basking in the radioactive neon-like glow of said butterfly lights, which she'd apparently plugged right back in after I left her room. It's like living with the world's most inept criminal: entertaining, yet exasperating. Methinks we need to seek out some picture books about dishonesty, for starters.
• Random malfunction: Keira 3.0 can be going about her business in her usual adorable, fun way, and then suddenly decide, for no reason at all, to bite her sister's hand hard enough to leave teeth marks. She bursts into hysterical crying completely out of the blue; these outbursts are later found to be the result of situations like "I don't WANT there to be a seam on my sock!" or "I can't fit this extremely large object into my incredibly small purse!"

Bear and I feel incredibly fortunate to be testing this new product raising this growing child and look forward to working out the bugs in the system teaching her not to be a freakazoid while continuing to enjoy the exciting new features qualities it she has to offer.