1) Sleep as little as possible. Try to be awakened by a cranky toddler at least once, wear a path to the bathroom despite having drank nothing in the past several hours, and lay awake planning lessons and/or listening to Dora and Boots sing "I Speak Spanish and English Too" in your head ad infinitum.
2) Activate the terrible twos in your normally well-behaved toddler. Try to reason with her as she alternately whines for yogurt and then throws Exorcist-style tantrums when you attempt to provide her with said yogurt. Try in vain to keep her from dumping dog food all over the floor, spraying Downy Wrinkle Releaser around the kitchen, and taking a sip of dish soap while you pick out detergent at Target. Attempt to prevent her from doing stunts in the cart while you're on the phone with Poison Control to make sure no permanent damage has been done. Do your best to explain calmly, and without a trace of impatience and/or hurt feelings, that it is NOT okay to hit Mommy...for the eighth time.
3) Blame self for above behavior in toddler, owing it to your own preoccupation with the interloper you are currently growing in your belly without having consulted your firstborn beforehand. Wallow in guilt.
4) Adopt a puppy with a strange affinity for toddler socks. Enact Alcatraz-level security measures to prevent her from ingesting them. Continue to find periodic, disgusting evidence that socks are still being consumed whole.
Yep, that about covers it. I'll be running along now to self-medicate with reality TV and frozen yogurt...but I'll leave you with Cubby's rendition of the song mentioned in item #1, which brings a smile to even my angsty face:
I guess it's true that when it rains it pours! I'm so sorry you have to be navigated through so much right before birthing. When I get there in March, we'll definitely have to go have some fun!
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I love the green/red colors for the baby room!
ReplyDeleteWe are with you on the terrible twos thing. (hug)
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