ARRRRGH!!!rachnophobia

We have to move.

It's been real here. We've had a great time, love the quiet neighborhood, and adore this house. Unfortunately, we can't stay. Gotta go.

Why?

Because yesterday evening, I took Keira outside to play in the backyard, and noticed Catey-Pup pawing at something on the patio. Thinking she'd found one of the many lizards that call our yard home, I went over to rescue it...and instead found A FREAKING TARANTULA!

CRAWLING UP THE SIDE OF KEIRA'S PLAYHOUSE!!

AND INTO IT!!!

Someone really needs to invent a bigger font and new punctuation for moments like this.

Now, I don't normally think of myself as a girly-girl. I can't sew, don't do frilly clothes, own the bare minimum number of shoes I need to get through life, and am perfectly capable of doing most things--including disposing of household insects--without needing to be rescued by a big, strong man. In this case, however, much squealing and shuddering took place as I informed Bear of what I had found, and (eeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEE!) watched him pick it up with a shovel, carry it to the trash can, and (sorry, big fella, but you had to go) destroy it.

But not before I took a pic for the blog...from a distance. A great distance. Check this sucker out:


Not freaky enough? Want me to zoom in?


I'll pause for shrieking, shuddering, cursing, and general heebie geebies. Go ahead.

Fortunately for me, Bear wasn't bothered by it at all; this is apparently one of the benefits of the Y chromosome. He pointed out that he wouldn't sign up for labor, delivery, or having someone drink from him 10 times a day, so I guess he thinks we're about even. (I sooooo got the better end of that deal. Shhhhhhh.)

I texted the pic and story to my family, and my favorite reply came from my brother (tongue in cheek, as always): "You should've put your hand next to it so we could judge the size." Not bloody likely! For the record, it was about the size of Bear's open hand. *shudder* *shudder*

So, you can see why we'll be needing to vacate the premises pronto. Who knows if this dude has friends and/or family who'll be looking to avenge his death...and who really wants to wait around to find out?? Granted, we knew we were moving into a neighborhood that borders a vast wilderness, and have heard neighbors tell stories of finding an occasional scorpion in the house (!!) or tarantula in the yard. We've even heard rumors of rattlesnake sightings. But since we live across the street from The Wilderness rather than adjacent to it, we'd assumed we were pretty safe. Apparently, we are fools, and spot-bites (as my sister used to call spiders when she was a child) are able to cross streets.

And what if Keira had gone into her playhouse before I'd found it? We can't afford the kind of therapy it might have taken to get her past those nightmares.

And so, we must take our two cubs and bounce.

Insert Scooby-Doo "scrambling to run away in terror" sound effect here.