Holiday Manifesto

I warned about this last Christmas, and now the time has come...the Holiday Manifesto.

Brace yourselves.

This coming holiday season, we're going to be doing things differently in the Bear household, and we'll need the cooperation of our friends and family to do so. Basically, we're going to try simplifying the holidays, removing much of the stress and commercialism, and overall making the season more meaningful to the cubs (ours, not the baseball team...I'm pretty sure the Chicago Cubs will be unaffected by this particular change). That last part is not a little ironic, considering our complete lack of any religion whatsoever, but go with me here.

What exactly does this mean? Allow me to enumerate our new policy, which is, like Joey's reasons for making Chandler spend Thanksgiving in a cardboard box, "three-fold":

1) Gift-giving: Until this year, Bear and I--and by that, I mean "I, with Bear's gratitude"--have shopped for 24 or more adults every Christmas, in addition to our nephew and Keira. I'll be honest: although we love each and every one of these people dearly, and often are very pleased with the gifts we come up with for them, it's just not financially possible for us anymore.

Beyond that, though, can we take a moment to consider what we're really doing here? We try to alleviate the "What on Earth do I get this person?!" stress by asking everyone to make wish lists. Then, we all fret to each other about how hard it is to MAKE our wish lists, because none of us can think of anything we really want. Wish lists full of "Things I Would Have Bought Myself Anyway But Will Hold Off So You All Can Have Something To Buy Me" and/or "Things I Don't Want Badly Enough To Buy Myself But Will List Because I Can't Think of Anything I Do Want" are issued. Shopping ensues: credit cards are swiped, UPS boxes start arriving, the gift-wrapping frenzy takes place, and we all gather on Christmas Day to act surprised as we receive the gifts we asked everyone to get us. A bit comical, isn't it?

So, let's make it simple. Bear and I will be shopping for our own cubs this year, and for our nephew. The girls will be "making" some type of homemade and/or sentimental gift for the grandparents and great-grandparents. We might do a little holiday baking and send some goodies around, and we all know there's no way I could ever resist sending out holiday photo cards to show off Ellie-Bug and Kiwi-Fruit. That's it. And what we'd really, really love is if, as their gift to us, those who normally shop for Bear and me would spend that money on something--anything--else. Donate it to charity, put it in savings, pay off bills, buy one of those blankets with arm holes everyone's so crazy about...you name it. Go crazy!

2) Gift receiving: As I just mentioned, we're asking our family and friends not to shop for us this year. We're lucky enough to have everything we really need or want, and nothing would make us happier than to just spend the holidays with our loved ones. Plus, it will make us feel like huge jerks if we get gifts from people we didn't shop for. Give us the gift of not feeling like huge jerks!

Obviously, there's no way we're going to talk our parents and grandparents into NOT getting any gifts for the girls, but we are going to ask...beg...plead...implore! that they, at the very least, limit themselves to A (that means one!) simple gift for each of them. (Sorry, Mom and Dad, but a Barbie Escalade does not qualify under these conditions!) Seriously, we have a playroom so full of toys that it would make any Charles Dickens character fall to their knees and cry. Keira loves all of it, and I absolutely don't want to sound unappreciative for all the nice things everyone has already gotten her. On the other hand, what did she spend yesterday doing? Putting stuff in my old purses and taking it back out again, and dragging around her Blankie by the string from my sweatpants. Let's not fool ourselves into thinking these kids are deprived if they don't spend hours opening expensive gifts on Christmas Day; all they really want and need is to be part of the festivities, play with family and friends, eat yummy food, and make memories. Simple. Beautiful. Cheap!

3) Good causes: We want to adopt a needy family again this year, and get Keira involved in shopping for the children. We'll make a couple of donations to the causes we believe in the most (I'm partial to St. Jude's Children's Hospital and the American Cancer Society). In general, we just want to be more mindful and less wasteful. The amount of trash we throw away every Christmas--shopping bags, wrapping paper, gift bags, packaging materials--is obscene, and I recently saw a video of how much garbage is brought into just ONE of the SEVEN landfills in L.A. County, just in one day. It was so grotesque, it actually made me cry.

You might wonder why I'm posting this now, in August, when stores won't even be playing Christmas music or selling Santa-shaped marshmallow peeps for...at least three weeks. Part of what I feel is the insanity of the holiday shopping season is that it starts so freaking early, and I had to get this out there before the madness begins. Plus, Keira's birthday is coming up, and I'm hoping our families might keep these things in mind when they shop for that "holiday," too.

So, there you have it. We'll give it a whirl this year and see how it goes, and we invite you to join us...or not. This is not, by any means, intended to sound holier-than-thou or Scrooge-y, and I realize it may seem crazy or extreme to those who feel like shopping and gifts are a huge part of the holiday experience. This is just what we think is best for us--and note that 25% of "us" is comprised of me. The kid who told Grandma that $17 was way too much for her to spend on an art set, when the markers at home were just fine. The chick who suggested her husband-to-be buy her a fake diamond wedding ring so as not to "waste money" on a real one.

I'm crazy.

Right?