Adventures in Kid-wrangling

Being surrounded by 4- and 5-year-olds on my work days, and spending the other days at home with my almost 2-year-old (sob!), gives me plenty of giggle-worthy moments. Allow me to share:
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My partner was teaching a lesson about rhymes the other day, so she would ask, "What words rhyme with cat?" and the kids would yell out, "Hat!" "Rat!" etc. At one point, she asked, "What rhymes with bell?" and I swear to you, almost all of them immediately yelled in unison, "Hell!" They showed no sign of realizing this was a Bad Word, but my partner and I cracked up.

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A very serious little boy in my class came up to me the other day and said, "Have you noticed that ladies and girls always think babies are cute?"

I said, "Hmmmm. Don't YOU think babies are cute?"

He actually put his index finger on his chin, thought it over for a second, and then said, "I just think that sometimes, they're actually kind of disgusting."

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Conversation overheard between two little boys (one of whom has two mommies--I'll let you guess which one):

Boy #1: "I'm coloring a desk again."

Boy #2: "Huh?" (Boy #1 repeats himself.) "Oh...I thought you said, 'I'm a lesbian.'"

My partner and I looked at each other, eyebrows raised, and I started to say, "How would a kindergartener even know that word??" before I realized--yeah, I guess he would!

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Our "challenging" little boy (who SO belongs in preschool and not kindergarten) went to use the bathroom that's inside our classroom while I was teaching a lesson. I heard him yelling in there, so I stopped and went to check on him.

When I opened the door, I found him laying on his stomach on the floor, with his pants off and his underwear down by his shoes, and he yelled, "I can't get my underwears off!!!"

People, this is not a situation upper-grade teachers are accustomed to. I am not in the business of--nor am I comfortable with the idea of--helping other people's kids with their "underwears." This made me want to run screaming back to third or fifth grade. (Instead, I said, "You don't need your underwear off, Sweetie--just sit on the potty like that" and then closed the door and hoped for the best.)

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As for my own little munchkin, she has developed a rather adorable bedtime ritual. Every night, I take her to give Daddy a kiss before I brush her teeth and put her in her crib, and I always told her, "Tell Daddy 'thank you' for taking you to the park [or whatever nice thing Daddy did for her that day]!" She would repeat it after me...but now, she does it all on her own. Last night, she told him, "Good night, Dad! Sank you for pwaying outside and on swings and syide and bus!" Some nights, it's just, "Sank you for a fun day, Dad!" Every night, it's freaking precious.

Did I mention she calls us "Mom" and "Dad" a lot of the time, and occasionally calls me by my first name? Who is she, Bart Simpson? I want to stay Mommy for a while yet, thank you very much!